Mmmmm... Choco Banana PB Smooooooothie!

Enter: The Inner Life of a PMSing Dieting Woman, Act I

PMSing Me: "I'm like a freakin' stuffed sausage! This was my PREGO skirt! Now I'm outgrowing it! Argh! I'm going to have to start throwing up after every meal!..."

My Dear Husband: "Talitha, don't say that! You're beautiful."

Me: "I'm FAT!"

Hubby: "You might weigh a little more than you'd like, but you're beautiful."

Me: "You're sweet. But you're either blind or lying to make me feel better..."

Hubby: "Ok, you said you read that people always tend to reward themselves while dieting with food that they miss, but it's better to reward yourself with non-food items, right? ... Well then, if you go this next week without any sugar (desserts), then buy yourself the DrawSomething app that you want!"

Me: "That's a GREAAAAAT idea!!! Yay! 2,000 more words for only 99c! I can do that! I'll gladly do that!!! You're the best husband EVER!!! You are SO thoughtful and sweet!!!!!"

Act II

I've had mysterious headaches for three days and I'm about as grouchy as my 16-month-old... Who's either got a bad case of diaper rash or baby angst, I don't know which (but neither once would excuse trying to bite Mama).

I-Need-Chocolate-Me: "So, if you're going to the store anyway, and you're buying bananas for smoothies anyway, could you some dark chocolate chips for Chocolate-PB-Banana Smoothies? Because YUM!" (Note: Dark Chocolate is allowed)

Husband: "Yeah! Let's make them with Greek Yogurt. Do I need to buy some?"

Me: "No, we have enough." (Inside I'm actually doing the happy dance that I get something sweet)

Act III

The baby is in bed - EARLY! Thank God, too, because she was being a pain in the arse this evening, just as cranky as can be!

We close her door and turn the box fan on high, to cover up the noise of the blender as best as we can. I find two medium bananas - one slight green and one slightly brown, a cup of plain Greek Yogurt, about a quarter-cup dark chocolate chips, four-or-five tablespoons of natural peanut butter, two teaspoons ground golden flax seed, and a little more than a cup of almond-coconut milk to make this a real smooooothie =)

As my husband and I enjoy our perfect 12-ounce cups of chocolate-peanut butter-banana joy, we play a game on our new iPad and enjoy the rare silence coming from the next room. Joy in a cup, joy in silence, joy in each other. Joyful night.

Act IV

It's one in the morning. The baby is silent. The husband is snoozing. The streets are silent. Spiders everywhere are spinning their webs. And I'm still awake from the blasted caffeine in the chocolate! Headache? Worse. There's one aid: creativity. Mine, and others'... I'm gonna go watch some Good Eats. Bless Alton Brown. Maybe there's an episode on smoothies... Bless YouTube!